Flying into Denver usually means I’m on the way to ski slopes or mountain resorts, so I’m not apt to hang around the airport. But when a recent meeting at the Westin Hotel attached to the terminal ended substantially early, I faced two choices before my evening flight: occupy an uncomfortable terminal seat or do some exploring.
Choosing the latter, I wandered through DIA for nearly three hours, checking out the modernization project underway, other changes made over the years and some interesting activities that kept me engaged and helped me pass the time without suffering from airport seat soreness.
My previous most recent trip through DIA had been more than 5 years ago, and it was one of those typical pass-throughs where my task was to minimize airport time. We arrived after midnight, following an eight-hour delay involving violent weather systems, unplanned rerouting, and a new Delta crew flying from Atlanta to Albuquerque to join our flight as required by FAA workday rules. On the way back out, following a wonderful mountain vacation, we stayed at an airport hotel, rode the early morning shuttle and flew out on the first flight back to Atlanta.
Before getting into my exploration stories, some fast facts about DIA. First, the airport was constructed in 1995 approximately 25 miles from the city center. But with road construction, a light rail system and urban sprawl, the city continues to creep closer to the airport. Second, as a hub for United and Frontier, and a major operational location for Southwest, DIA has the second-largest domestic flight network in the US. Thus, it should come as no surprise that after nearly 25 years, the airport is undergoing some major renovations. How DIA shares information about the renovations is surprising and fun, and the start of my exploration stories.
Secret Tunnels, Free Masons and Aliens
Generally, the words airport construction and fun would NEVER be used together. And to those who routinely endure the inconveniences of major construction at DIA, there’s certainly no reason to smile about the many obstacles between the terminal entrance and wheels-up. But for those of us who aren’t as time constrained and enjoy a good laugh, I give high marks to DIA for its light-hearted and engaging DenFiles.com communication campaign about the construction project.
Huge signs throughout the construction area feature conspiracy-theory artwork with aliens, symbols of the Illuminati, lizard people and more. It’s all linked to the construction information website, where fliers can learn about the renovation plan, current construction, and new procedures and pathways required at each project phase. The clever conspiracy theory campaign is all in fun, based on rumors circulating around the airport, including the “Blucifer” Blue Horse statue, the accidental death of its creator, gargoyle sculptures, original baggage handling system tunnels and alien graffiti.
Regardless of your thoughts about conspiracy theories or alternate facts, do check out the construction information pages before your departure or arrival. Locals report that long security lines, escalator bottlenecks, facility relocations and closures, and new pathways all require more time for navigation. TSA offers a near-real-time check on security lines, but remember, that’s NOT your only obstacle during construction.
Amusing Antics to Pass the Time
Walking across from the Westin and light rail station into the main terminal, I bypassed the generally-longer lines at the South security points and meandered around to the North entry, where I had no wait. From there, it was down the narrow escalators and on to the crowded train for the ride out to Concourses A, B and C. I was flying out of Concourse C, but for my explorations, I took them in alphabetical and train-stop order, and here were the highlights:
- Wildlife Watching. The bridge from the main terminal to Concourse A offers the best wildlife viewing in the airport – excluding, perhaps, an unexpected sighting of over-inebriated and uninhibited folks partying too hard in an airport lounge. While standing in full view for less than five minutes, I spotted a flamingo, woodpecker, blue jay and polar bear. Of course, these were all wildlife murals adorning the tails of Frontier Airlines’ Airbus fleet. If you have younger children or grandchildren traveling with you, grab a picnic from Concourse A and enjoy the scenery from a (comfortable?) bench. It’s much less crowded than the gate areas, and the kids will enjoy the animals and airplane movement. And since DIA is a Frontier hub, chances are you’ll see lots of different animals if you stay awhile. Each plane in the Frontier fleet has an animal mural. You can even find the names of the animals if you have internet connection while watching.
- Fossil Hunt. Another kid-friendly favorite, Concourse B features faux-fossils that reflect Colorado’s geology, geography and natural history. While nothing excites kids like finding unexpected dinosaur skeletons, the floor-art also features native American symbols and names of prominent Colorado areas. Artists Carolyn Braaksma and Mark Villareal used bronze embeds to locate the castings into the terrazzo floor. One tip: this adventure is best enjoyed between the busiest arrival and departure flight cycles, and is easiest at the linear center of the concourse between gates B21-B23 and B29-B31. Keeping to the center will help keep curious youngsters away from the trampling feet of hurried throngs racing for the next flight.
- Airport Art. Denver ranks as the best US airport for artwork according to USA Today and (most recently) among the best by Travel and Leisure magazine. With much of the main terminal art stored away during construction, the best place to enjoy DIA’s extensive, wacky and controversial art is in the Concourse areas. What appears to be an ill-fated mine train or an incomplete roller coaster occupies the center point of Concourse A. The work is entitled Dual Meridian and attempts to link past and future transportation modes in one conceptual space. To me, it looks more like the aftermath of a train wreck inside an airport – and it’s those types of observations that have long made DIA’s art controversial. Further to that point, the temple-like facade at the C Concourse center point isn’t even listed among the artwork on DIA’s official artwork web page, further fueling the speculation that there is an Illuminati temple or New World Order headquarters hidden away there. Conscious of the controversies and with an eye toward appealing to (or appeasing!) the masses, city officials and airport management promised kinder, gentler, and friendlier artwork recently, to add “a bit of joy and serenity to the traveling experience.”
Just B Walking
Travel is one of life’s great conundrums, requiring long periods of sitting still while simultaneously moving over great distances. Plus there’s all that wait time for departures, connections, baggage claim and ground transportation. The last thing on my mind during departure waits or connection layovers is more sitting, so you’ll always find me looking for a walking place to get the blood circulating and muscles stretched.
Concourse B walking offers the best option once past security, as it’s the longest terminal. According to my trusty Garmin Vivoactive HR sports watch, a lap around Concourse B measures 1.27 miles and took me about 24 minutes including a short stop or two for blog pictures. Excluding those photo pauses, that’s approximately 18 minutes of actual walking time and 292 calories of effort as I dodged other travelers.
Eat, Drink or Be Hurried
If you’re in a hurry, DIA offers the usual range of fast food, kiosks and carts for grabbing a quick bite on the run. But if you have the time and taste for a more elevated dining experience, a higher-level of food is easy to find on the second level of Concourses A, B and C. Awaiting there is a broader range of sit-down service dining outlets, including everything from American classics to steak to Southwestern fare and more. For drinks, I like Lounge 5280 located on the upper level of B Concourse at the centerpoint. Elway’s restaurant also is located here, and generally is packed with business people either enjoying a meal or catching up over fabulous martinis at the full bar. If you want to plan ahead, the DIA website offers a searchable listing of all your options.
What About the Lizard People?
Officially, they are known as “Reptoids,” and unofficially they lurk in the dark recesses of the tunnels beneath the airport which were built as (pick your favorite answer):
- Part of a Masonic Temple
- Headquarters for the New World Order
- Apocalyptic bomb shelters for the rich and elite
- Labor and immigration camps
- A failed automated baggage system
- All of the above
- None of the above.
An intrepid Denver reporter caught the Reptoids on camera during a debunking report-gone-wrong, and that picture has since fueled additional speculation. Since then, some have baggage handlers, ticket agents and passengers have enjoyed some laughs by donning lizard masks.
For my part, I didn’t see any Reptoids, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist! And if they do, I certainly don’t want to appear on their “persona-non-grata” list in these days when we have more than enough other distractions and divisions.
More Airport Bites
We like to have fun with our airport stories. If you enjoyed this one, check out our others, now including ATL, DAY, DEN, MDW, MSY and STL. Since our blog didn’t start until retirement, we missed the original opportunity to do more locations, but we’re committed posting additional stories as travels permit.
